mommy thoughts

my daughter is turning 10 in a couple of months. she has crushes, interest in pop music and has recently started preferring watching whos on teen Nick (Nickelodeon) as opposed to those on the Disney channel.

She recognizes Zac Efron as a "cutie" and has recently developed an interest in shoes.

I know that these things happen. They're inevitable, yes, I know that too.

I suppose it just never is easy to know that the child who once upon a time fitted just in the crook of my arm is starting to be "all grown up" and entering a state where she has independent preferences.

The other night while I was setting out dinner, I noticed her watching this show on Nick where there was this kid (i wouldnt call her a teen...maybe a pre-teen) lying to her mom to get out of a shopping trip. In the story this kid told her mom she was gonna go to a study group when in fact she was meeting her friends at at a party.

I wont even profess to have had a very straight laced teens.

Oh no, I was pretty wild at that time though thankfully, not so wild as the teens of today such as those we read about in the news are. So I suppose I should understand these a bit better.

To some extent, yeah, maybe I do. But you really cant take away the fear that comes with such knowledge. Oh I trust her well enough. Its just that society is so frightening with all the drugs, parental apathy, influences by the media and peer groups....

You must think Im getting too ahead of myself. But unless you're a parent, you really can't understand how devastatingly fast time flies when it comes to your kids growing up.

Despite those fears, my relationship with her is pretty good I'm glad to say. People often tell us that we seem to be more of sisters/pals though I am a pretty tough disciplinarian when needed be. I am not above grounding her from tv and the computer should I feel she's neglecting her studies and boy, do I have house rules. But maybe having a comparatively small age gap can be advantageous in its own paradoxical way.

Its like its a good thing coz my memories of adolescence are fairly recent and a bad thing because those memories ARE fairly recent if you get what I mean.

If there's one thing I learned though, its trying to control every facet your kid's life will get you absolutely the opposite thing. Hell, I should know.

So fear, yes. Nothing wrong in trying to be safe. But not to the extent of suffocating my child and forcing her to have to hide from me. I would hate it and myself if any child of mine should see me as so autocratic that they'd have to hide secrets or lie to me.

Ive always encouraged open conversation. Agree with me or not, but I believe that whether what she has to say is good or bad, problematic or not, Id rather know straight from her. So far this has been working for us. Im just hoping that even as she grows...it still will.